Scolding & Stories

Yeah, way to vote guys...way to vote. (I'm entirely disappointed with the views to voting ratio--poop, even the clicks to flickr are higher than voting..man...civic duty guys, civic duty.)

Ok so after a good scolding I thought you deserved a story entirely unrelated to puppetry, but related to my sense of humor.

I have, in the past, spoken of my grandfather. Not the one that carved marionettes (although he was rad), but the one that had an awesome sense of humor. We inherited his car when he passed away, it's the car that was recently murdered by a large Dodge SUV. (blasted American cars)

My grandmother collected many things, which was convenient because my grandfather was an antiques dealer & estate auctioneer. When my grandmother passed away in January of 01, we each took some turtles, some Kewpie dolls and a gnome or 3. (I should photograph them, they're really awesome) 9 months later, my grandfather passed away. He had begun seeing a woman at his Synagogue. We secretly think grandma bumped him off before they got too serious.

My grandfather had an amazing sense of humor. I was told this joke around the age of 8 or 10:
A child on Halloween is out trick-or-treating. He is dressed as a pirate. Knock, Knock, Knock. An older woman answers the door. "Oh, well look at you! Aren't you adorable? But...where are your buccaneers?" The little boy looks at her, rather confused and says "What do you mean, lady? They're under me buckin' hat."

Now, being that my grandfather is from England originally, he had an accent, which make the "me buckin' hat" really adorable. Also, anytime someone asked where he was from due to his accent, he said Oklahoma.

Anyhow, one day, several months after we lost Grandpa, I had been watching Antiques Road Show on PBS. Yes, I watch Antiques Road Show. It keeps me close to my roots, okay? So I was sitting afterward in my quiet apartment, thinking about grandpa & his profession & how people received items from their relatives that they assumed were nothing, they flipped them over to see some amazing marking & find out the item was worth more than what they imagined. Now, I didn't expect anything to be worth thousands of dollars. I didn't even expect things to be worth more than $100, but my curiosity was such that I had to go in & flip over some trinkets from Grandma & Grandpa that were on the shelf.

I looked to the Turtles. The brass turtles. I grabbed them both in my hands & flipped them over at the same time. I found not a marking of "hey I'm super-valuable" or even a sticker that said "made in Japan" instead I found a set of shiny titties & a va-jay-jay on one turtle, and a little brass weenis on the other. Secretly (on a blog that at least 14 people read--Hi Irene), just as I think Grandma took out Grandpa, I'd like to think that Grandpa & Grandma finally accepted my adulthood & hazed me from beyond.

I got my warped sense of humor from them & I love that it's something that can be inherited. Like well endowed turtles.

I should note that my grandmother, too, was a crafty lady, having crocheted a schmeckle warmer for her little brother to give to him as a gift on his wedding day. Presumably unused (Oh man I hope so), her brother be-gifted it to my dad at his wedding. Then, (Please, oh please) unused, my father gave it to my dear husband at our wedding. Thankfully just at the rehearsal dinner when only families from both sides were there to enjoy the experience. We certainly left the darn thing in its box because "presumably" doesn't mean "definitely". It was blue & had a pink bow at the top. Cute. When my brother got married, we sent it to Australia with my parents (which is where my brother lives--we didn't randomly send it to Australia for giggles) to give to him. The next boy in the family will get it & thankfully it is my brother's responisbility to make sure that happens...assuming it remains unused.